Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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