Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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