Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
