Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
