You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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