omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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