how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
