i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
