Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
