i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
