I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
