I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
