Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
