I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
