There is no way he is gay with that hair.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
