I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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