OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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