Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
