I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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