She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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