Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Randomize
Follow @tfln