i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.