if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.