the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
