do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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