I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize