Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Someone signed my nipple.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
