I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
only if we run a train.
done.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
