glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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