I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
