dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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