all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she looked like the before picture.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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