I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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