this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
