Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
