i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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