you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
