if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
