There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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