we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
