goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
