Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
