I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
