she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
