I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
