my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
being pregnant is like rehab
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
wow bdsm is so cute
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
