So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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