So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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