I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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