Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just want nice things and good sex
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize