i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
