so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
it hurts more in the daytime
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
