The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"