Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She bit a glass in half.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
