ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
