i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
