I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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