I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
