? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
