I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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