I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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