Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize