just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
