You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
